The Sound of Silence
by LaueHime
Summary: After Sam freed Lucifer, Dean says he can't trust him anymore. Tension rises as the brothers find out about their role in the Apocalypse. Sam really wants to regain Dean's trust so when he gets hurt, he doesn't tell him in fear of breaking their already fragile bond. But the consequences might make him lose more than his brother's trust. S5, Limp!Hurt!Sam, LittleLimp!Angst!Dean
1. Part 1

**This is another idea that popped into my head while rewatching season 5! I hope you're going to like it ! This story was meant to be a one-shot but it ended up being quite long (almost 10,000 words long) so I split it in two halves. The second part should be up soon!**

**Summary: Set during season 5, after what Sam did, Dean says he can't trust him anymore. There is tension between the two brothers as they find out about the role they'll have to take in the Apocalypse. Sam really wants to regain Dean's trust. When he gets hurt, he figures he can't tell his brother in fear of breaking their already fragile reunion. But the consequences might make him lose more than his brother's trust. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show that have been created but the awesome Eric Kripke. I'm just borrowing them for fun.**

**I know it's been done before but I wanted to try it my own way! I hope you'll enjoy!**

**SPN**

The Impala sped down the highway and against the soft rain that had been falling for hours.

Dean looked straight ahead, never taking his eyes off the road. It was dark outside as nighttime had finally fallen.

Sam was sitting in the passenger seat, picking at his hands nervously from the tension growing in the vehicle. Neither Dean nor himself had said anything in the past hours. Things were complicated between them ever since Sam had released the Devil and flipped the Apocalypse switch on.

Dean tried to act cool at first and pretend he didn't want to talk about it but he ended up blowing up at his little brother, blaming him for trusting a demon over family. As brothers, they were supposed to be able to count on each other. Turns out, Sam had forgotten about that. Dean didn't know if they could be brothers anymore, claiming that he didn't even know if he'd be able to trust Sam.

They ended up separating because Sam thought he would be better off if he weren't hunting anymore. That didn't last after he found out about his destiny. If Dean was supposed to be the savior by being Michael's true vessel, Sam's fate was to offer his own body to Michael's rebellious little brother, Lucifer himself.

The news had distraught him and he couldn't fathom the idea of keeping away from his brother anymore. Fortunately for him, Dean had accepted to be reunited. His big brother still hadn't told him what made him change his mind but Sam was just happy to not be on his own anymore.

But things hadn't gotten so much better. Dean was still harsh with Sam and didn't miss an occasion to tell him how he'd screwed up.

Tonight wasn't any different. They were back from a hunt and Sam could tell how much he'd have to work to gain his brother's trust back. Dean wouldn't let him go on his own and listened to nobody but himself. Sam ended up snapping at him, arguing about how they should forget about their differences for once and focus on the hunt. Dean had shrugged him off, saying that he couldn't pretend everything was fine between them.

It's not just that he couldn't and Sam knew it. Dean didn't want to.

He was still pissed and frankly, Sam couldn't really blame him because he hated himself even more than Dean probably did. At least, he had Bobby. Even though he was obviously disappointed, the older hunter didn't spend his time reminding Sam of his failures.

Another mile went by in silence. The pressure was building up inside Sam's chest and it was almost suffocating him. He just wanted to grab his brother by the shoulders and yell at him to forgive him and let him in.

But he knew he deserved what he got. So instead, he kept the silence going.

More miles went by and Sam couldn't repress a sigh of fatigue any longer.

Dean didn't turn to look at him but Sam saw how his brother's knuckles had tightened their grip on the wheel.

"You're probably tired. Maybe we should call it a night and find a place to crash" Sam proposed shyly.

Dean didn't turn once more but his breath quickened.

"You can sleep in the back if you want" he spat, coldly.

Sam shook his head. "You need to sleep too, man. We've been running from hunt to hunt without stopping to catch our breaths" Sam complained.

Dean's jaw tightened in time with his grip on the steering wheel.

"There's no time for that. The end of the world doesn't rest and you know who we have to thank for that!" he hissed. Sam felt his own breath pick up some speed as his whole body tensed up.

"How many times are you going to bring that up? Even if you still blame me, I can't go back and undo it!" he replied, his own anger rising up.

"That's the point! We can't undo it so we have to fight it. That means – forget about your beauty sleep, princess! We have work to do if we wanna fix your mess!" the eldest snapped.

Sam felt his eyes moisten from the anger but he blinked it away in a second. He knew that there was no point in arguing with his brother right now anyway. Instead, he turned his head towards the window and rested his brow against the cool glass.

Dean shook his head to push the anger away and set his focus back on the road. He hated this tension but he couldn't forget the fact that he'd tried so hard to stop Sam and to make him understand that he should have stopped his business with Ruby.

As usual, the kid hadn't listened and that's what happened next. The damn Apocalypse.

As if they didn't have enough on their plate already…

Sam ended up falling asleep and Dean studied his brother for a moment. Maybe he was being too harsh on the kid that was truly sorry for what happened. But the hurt he'd felt at being tossed to the side in favor of a demon was still consuming his thoughts. Maybe one day they'd patch things up.

But for now, Dean didn't feel like it was something he could do.

Instead, he found the next exit on the highway and started looking for a motel. Even though they didn't have all the time in the world, they did deserve to take a little break to get some sleep. No matter how hard Dean wanted to keep going, he was only human after all.

Sam stirred when Dean pulled the car to a stop in the motel parking lot. The eldest just slammed his door shut without a care to his waking brother and went to the main office to check in.

Sam was startled by the roughness of his brother's departure. He let out a growl of displeasure before rubbing his eyes that were burning from the lack of sleep.

Dean came back shortly after he left and settled in the car without any attention to its other occupant. He drove the car closer to their room and parked it there at last. Sam decided to keep his mouth shut and follow.

They were out of the car and picking up their bags in no time. Dean unlocked the door and didn't wait for Sam before putting his stuff on the bed closer to the door. Sam walked in after Dean and dragged his feet to the farthest bed.

It was late – _or should he say early? _– but not enough to keep Dean from wanting to find a bar.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Don't you think you should sleep?" he asked with a pleading tone.

Dean squinted his eyes at him now.

"I won't be able to unless I get a drink and besides, I don't recall needing to ask for your permission" he pointed out.

Sam looked down at his feet in defeat.

"Be careful then" he whispered.

Dean gave him the slightest nod before storming out of the door.

Sam sighed and felt a chill rise inside of him. He didn't like this situation of constant war but he didn't want to leave Dean either because he still had yet to prove to his brother that he could be trust worthy. It's the only way they would be brothers again.

But after two hours, Dean wasn't back and the bars ought to be closed by now. Sam was lying awake in his bed and he couldn't shake the feeling away. He debated with himself for a few minutes and finally decided that his brother was probably too drunk to even find the motel.

He walked to the lobby and asked the clerk where the nearest bar was. After getting the indications, he started walking towards his brother.

Finding Dean was easy. As he reached the bar, he could hear the commotion from the other end of the street. Sam picked up a jogging speed when he saw that his brother was facing against two huge adversaries. It's not that he thought Dean was weak and couldn't win against the men, it's more that at the time being, his brother was swaying dangerously.

Dean was drunk. And he was shouting obscenities to the angry pair. This was a no-win situation.

Sam walked up to them and tried to reach his brother with an apologetic smile intended for the opponents.

"Sam, wha' 'he hell" Dean slurred as he tried to get out of his brother's grip.

"You're drunk out of your mind, Dean. I'll bring you back home before you get into trouble" he explained, looking at the men with sorry eyes.

The first one clenched his fists and cut his eyes at Sam. He wasn't ready to let Dean go just yet.

"Hey, wait a sec! You ain't takin' him no where until I'm finished with him" he grunted.

Sam flinched.

"Whatever he did, he's not himself. He had a bad day and now he's really drunk" Sam tried.

The second one was now standing tall in the way, also making sure Dean wouldn't run.

"Lemme go, Sam" Dean slurred. Sam rolled his eyes but he didn't give his brother what he asked for.

"Stop trying to protect him or we'll hurt you too" the first one started again. Sam swallowed.

" s'okay, Sam, let the men do wha' they have to do" Dean said with a drunken grin.

One of the two men reached forward and sent a kick flying behind Dean's wobbly knees. The drunken man fell back and Sam had to grab him harder to keep him from hitting the ground too hard. He then let his brother on the side to swing at the man who had tripped him.

His punch was blocked and a knee connected with his midsection. Sam gasped in pain and his eyes clenched for a few seconds. It was enough to give the other man an opening to sucker punch him. Sam staggered on his feet before turning back quickly as he swung his foot to one of the two men's groin.

As the man went down to his knees, Sam brought his boot to his face and knocked him out. The second one wanted to argue but Sam was quicker once more and pushed him against the wall. He threw his best right hook and the guy was knocked out too.

Sam stepped back to catch his breath and shook his hand. He'd be bruised in the morning. He turned to Dean who was watching him with wide eyes.

"Why d'you have to do tha' for? Coulda done tha' m'self" he pouted.

Sam shook his head in disbelief. He passed his arm beneath Dean's and around his brother's shoulders. Holding Dean up, they started the walk back to the Impala.

Sam was going to open the passenger door in order to get Dean in the car when a voice stopped him from moving. He looked up to see three men walking towards them. They were covered in blood and by the looks of it, Sam could only tell that they were hunters.

"Winchesters" one started.

Sam's blood froze in his veins and Dean straightened a little in Sam's arms.

"You're hunters" Sam guessed although he knew the answer.

"I'm surprised you don't know us but it doesn't matter. We've just watched our families die in front of our eyes. Demons invaded our neighborhood and decided to have a feast" the same man replied. The two others nodded in agreement.

Sam swallowed a lump that was forming in his throat.

"I'm sorry to hear that" he stuttered slowly.

The man nodded and flashed a cold smile.

"Are you, Sam? Because the demons chimed that we owe it all to you" he muttered coldly.

Sam shivered. Dean was very much awake now as if the situation had sobered him up.

"I can explain" Sam stumbled over his words.

The man laughed but he showed no happiness. It was cold and cruel.

"Nothing you can say will bring them back. I only wish you could feel the pain of what it is to watch your family be murdered in front of you" he hissed.

Sam's shivers racked his body now. This was not going to end up well.

"How about we give you a little insight" another one proposed.

Sam swallowed the lump that was threatening to suffocate him. Dean was alert too, ready for the fight.

It started in a matter of seconds and Sam's eyes widened to try to keep in touch with what was happening. A man was on Dean, punching and kicking just before he felt himself be attacked. He started punching into thin air until he felt he'd hit something. His satisfaction was short lived when the man punched back.

He managed to block a punch and land in a kick. The man gasped in pain. Sam turned to see that Dean was fighting too. He was actually pinning his attacker to the ground and punching him with one hand while holding his neck with the other.

The third man went behind Dean and wrapped his arms around his neck. Sam's eyes widened and he wanted to scream for his brother when he felt someone grab him from behind as well. The air was knocked out of him as he struggled to get free. He tried to elbow his opponent in the face but the man dodged the hit. He even took it as an opportunity to pass his arm underneath Sam's, holding it back in a way Sam couldn't get free.

He tried to pull free when he felt a sharp sting of pain in his side. It left him breathless for a few seconds as dark spots danced in his line of vision. He let his body go limp and finally surprised the man by throwing his head back into his nose.

Immediately, his opponent had to retract and reach his hands to his nose. Sam didn't notice the weapon that fell to the ground as his main focus was to knock the man out once and for all.

He kicked the man's legs, making him fall in a heap. Sam took this occasion to slam the man's head against the cold concrete. After a few hits, the man was out for the count.

Sam panted heavily and turned his eyes back to his brother. Dean was still held from behind by one man while the other was landing punches between his face and his stomach. Sam growled.

"Cowards" he muttered, reaching behind the man who was holding Dean and using all his remaining strength to hit his ears with flat palms. The man went down in a second, out cold.

Dean almost stumbled back but Sam helped him stand straight. The third man and last one standing looked around him and saw his two comrades down and out. He swallowed a lump of fear and started to run the other way.

"You'll hear of us again, Winchesters" he yelled over his shoulder.

The brothers shrugged it off, already triaging their injuries.

Dean went to lean on the Impala as he rubbed his sore neck. Sam could see the beginning of a black eye on his brother's face, the skin already turning purplish where the hits landed. Dean also grabbed at his midsection where he'd been punched a good number of times.

His face cringed in pain as his stomach heaved. The alcohol and the blows didn't do well together. Sam remained nearby and tried to comfort his brother with words.

He remembered feeling the sharp pain during the fight but he had quickly forgotten about it because of the adrenaline. It wasn't fully hurting again but Sam could feel the discomfort in his side. He reached down with shaky fingers, surprised when they came back bloodied. He'd been hurt.

But he didn't feel much pain other than a stinging sensation when he moved. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. It wasn't the first time he bled anyway. And Dean was hurting more than he was at the moment. His brother needed his attention more than his own wound did.

And Sam wouldn't let his brother down. Not again.

When Dean's stomach settled, Sam helped him into the passenger seat and he walked himself to the driver's side. For once, Dean didn't complain and he didn't make any other comment about Sam picking him up at the bar.

They made the short drive back to the motel in a blur and before they knew it, they were in their room. Sam went out to get some ice while Dean lay in his bed, holding his midsection in pain.

"Sons a' bitches!" Dean growled when Sam came back with the ice.

"I can't believe I let myself get punched like that" he added.

Sam sighed. He was feeling bad about this. Maybe if he hadn't been there… But then there were the two men that were after Dean at first so his brother would have gotten in a fight either way.

"You don't look too bad" Dean continued.

Sam shook his head, dead set on not telling his brother how he really felt.

"They got in a few good punches but nothing I can't handle! I'll live" he commented. Dean nodded.

"Good then, get me some of that ice" he asked, almost on the tone of an order.

Sam nodded and handed Dean a washcloth from the bathroom in which he'd wrapped some ice. Dean took it gratefully and pressed the cold cloth against his bruised face. Sam stood after a while.

"I'll get a shower. Do you need anything else?"

"Nah, I'm good" Dean replied.

The youngest nodded and locked himself in the bathroom. He pulled off his jacket only to cringe in pain. He turned to his side and it didn't take long for him to spot the red stain of blood on his shirt. Sam cursed silently. He had to pull up his shirt which made him flinch again.

Beneath the blood was a small cut. It wasn't long, about the length of a pocket knife. What bothered him was that he didn't know how deep it was. For now, he'd have to bandage it and then if the blood didn't stop pouring, he might have to stitch it. That wasn't anything too bad and no reason to worry Dean.

He appreciated the shower and then worked to patch himself up.

When he came out of the bathroom, his brother was sleeping. Dean hadn't even bothered to undress. Sam grinned at the thought and slowly went to pull the comforter up around his brother's form. He put the cloth back in the bathroom and when that was done, he turned off the light and reached his own bed.

He'd have to try to get _some_ sleep.

SPN

Sleeping didn't work too well for Sam. He kept tossing, trying to find a position that wouldn't jab at the cut on his side. At sunrise, he decided to stop trying to push it and frowned when he saw that his bandage was soaked in blood. He would probably need stitches.

Something still made him wait. He changed for a clean bandage and decided to go for breakfast. He brought back Dean's favorite greasy meal while getting himself plain eggs and toasts. He wasn't too hungry anyway.

Dean was grateful for the food when he woke up to it. It would surely help for the hangover as well. His head didn't pound so much as it had the night before. His stomach was still sore but he knew it was nothing more than a few bruises. Nothing would keep him from enjoying his breakfast.

Sam was silent and pensive. Dean didn't think too much of it at first but then it annoyed him.

"About last night…" he started. Sam was looking at him seriously now.

"I don't know what made you pick me up but, uh… I'm… thanks for coming. I could've been in trouble if it weren't for you" he thanked his brother in his own fashion.

Sam let the ghost of a smile creep up on his face. He nodded.

"Glad I could save your ass for a change" he mumbled.

Dean didn't reply but the comment hadn't fallen on deaf ears. He was grateful, really.

"What about you, not too sore?" Dean asked, clearing his voice and changing the target of the attention.

"Nah, I'm ok" Sam lied. In fact, his side was pulling at him but he'd just stitch it up as soon as he could get a second to reach for the first aid kit that was in the car.

Dean smiled and nodded. "Good" he replied quickly.

"Because we need to get back to work" he continued.

Sam didn't look up. He didn't want his brother to see the apprehension in his eyes.

Dean picked up the laptop and started searching for anything in the area that would indicate demonic activity or even anything related to the Apocalypse. Sam decided to lie in his bed while his brother worked. Slowly, sleep tugged at him until his eyes closed and he became oblivious to the world.

At some point, he was brought back to reality when his brother started moving around again. Dean had been searching for a hunt so that could only mean that he'd found something.

"What is it?" Sam asked, surprised at how dry his mouth felt.

"The shopping center. Fifteen people have died there already and strange things have been happening ever since" he stated.

Sam frowned.

"What do you think is happening?"

"Maybe final judgment has started already" Dean tried.

Sam shrugged.

"Then we should check it out" he proposed, rubbing his forehead.

Dean studied him for a minute before nodding and pressing that they should get going.

SPN

The first who died were high rank citizens who made a lot of money and did everything to show it. The deaths were sudden and still unexplained, passed on as accidents.

The Winchesters went around, asking questions but the mall was almost empty. Nobody wanted to go anymore. And Dean could tell why. They were first attacked in the jewelry store. It was a ghost who apparently didn't know it was dead. Sam shot it with rock salt and that movement left him panting.

Dean was puzzled but he didn't push it.

It's when they got to the dining area that it became a challenge. Dean first thought he'd enjoy the place because he wouldn't say no to anything edible at the moment. Sam was oppositely nauseated at the idea of food.

They were quickly attacked and outnumbered by ghosts.

"Sam, stay next to me and shoot anything that moves" Dean barked.

Sam was standing behind him with his back to his brother's back. They both shot rounds of rock salt until the ghosts disappeared. Dean motioned for his brother to follow and ran out of sight. Sam dragged his feet behind. He came up exhausted and breathless when Dean turned around.

"What the hell, it's like they don't even know they're dead!" Dean expressed.

Sam simply nodded, grabbing onto something to keep his balance. His heart was racing. Dean frowned again at the sight of his brother. It wasn't the first time that he noticed how off Sam was.

"Dude, what's up with you?" he asked suddenly.

Sam looked up with glassy eyes. "m' fine" he replied. He wouldn't worry Dean. He just wanted his brother to trust him again. He couldn't bother him with something so ridiculous. He was probably out of it because he didn't get much to eat.

Dean shrugged. "Whatever you say" he finally accepted, patting his brother's shoulder.

"Let's go back to the motel and call Bobby. Maybe he can explain what's happening!" Dean proposed.

Sam didn't find the strength to do anything other than agree.

They drove back in silence and Sam rested his forehead against the window.

SPN

The short drive back had taken more out of Sam than he would have liked. He stumbled into the room and almost collapsed on his bed. Dean followed and sat down, pulling out his phone to call the oldest hunter. He put the small device on its speakers and explained the situation to the older hunter.

"You say they don't know they're dead?" Bobby repeated to get confirmation from Dean.

"Yeah"

Dean looked up to see that Sam was fighting hard to stay conscious enough to hear the conversation.

"This is really not important, Sam. Doesn't matter if you don't pay attention, it's just the Apocalypse" Dean mumbled. Sam looked sideways with pained eyes. Dean rolled his.

Bobby came back to the line and cleared his throat.

"I think I know what's happening. Those are the ghosts of the deceased who have already been condemned even before the final judgment" he explained.

"So they're people who lack faith?" Dean asked.

"Something like that. God is supposed to punish those who don't deserve eternal peace" Bobby continued.

"Figures it would happen in a mall where people spend their money on being superficial" Dean tried.

He heard Bobby sigh. Sam's eyes were drooping.

"I guess so. Now it appears as if those who have died early come back and get angry at those who get to stay until the final judgment" Bobby continued.

"Like vengeful spirits? But then they're mad at everybody because they didn't pass the test?" Dean asked for confirmation.

"Pretty much" Bobby replied.

Dean looked over at Sam, wishing his brother would take a bigger part in the action. Seeing no reaction, he turned back to the phone.

"What do we do?"

"In the Bible, they calm their anger by realising there will be more deaths and that they're not the only ones. There's also a thing about white dresses but I'm not sure it applies here" Bobby explained.

Dean nodded. "So what, I tell them they're dead but that it doesn't matter because they're not the only ones?"

"I would try that, I guess" Bobby replied.

"Ok, thanks Bobby" Dean concluded.

"Your brother okay?" Bobby asked.

Dean looked over at the sleeping form.

"He likes to start the war more than he likes to find ways to stop it" Dean groaned.

He ended his conversation with the older hunter and took a deep breath before snapping.

"What the hell, Sam?" he yelled, a little louder than necessary.

Sam's eyes snapped open but he didn't have the energy to jump up.

"What?" he mumbled, his voice still full of sleep.

"This! What's up with you, you're not even paying attention!" Dean admonished.

Sam's eyes were glassy.

"m' tired" he breathed out.

Dean frowned. He stood from his bed and motioned for Sam to scoop over so he could sit next to his brother. Sam tried to pull himself to the side but the sudden movement brought a wave of pain in his whole side. He couldn't hide the grimace of pain and a little cry escaped his lips before he could stop it.

Dean's alert was on now.

"What the hell? Are you hurt? What happened? Where does it hurt?" he raced.

Sam's head was spinning at the amount of questions asked. He kept his eyes clenched shut, trying to control his breathing.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" Dean asked, his voice leaking of concern.

It had been so long since Dean had used that nickname. It made Sam give in.

"My side" he breathed.

Dean didn't have to search for too long when he saw the blood on the side of his brother's shirt. Sam mentally cursed himself for not stitching the wound earlier.

The big brother started to lift the shirt to assess the wound when Sam shrieked.

"Sorry, Sam. I'm being careful but I need to see" he said.

Sam nodded and bit his lip through the pain. Dean uncovered the bleeding cut.

"When did you get that?" he asked.

There was silence. Sam was too ashamed to reply.

"Sam?"

"Yesterday" he blurted out.

"And you didn't tell me? Most of all, you didn't stitch it?!" Dean was angry.

Sam couldn't blame him.

"Seriously, Sam?!" he added.

He rushed out to the car and came back in with the first aid kit in hands. Dean sat next to Sam with all his material. He handed Sam a shot of Whiskey while he prepared the suture material. Sam took the shot and grimaced when the liquor burned down his throat.

"I can't believe you didn't say anything! Are you planning on dropping dead during the hunt? You could get us both killed!" Dean expressed, disappointed while he started stitching.

Sam worked hard to hold back the tears. That trust he wanted to gain from Dean was flying farther away from his reach.

Dean closed the wound. Sam couldn't hold his tears any longer. One of them slipped down his cheek.

"I'm sorry" he breathed softly.

He was apologizing for the wound but also for every other mistake that Dean blamed him for – and that he blamed _himself_ for.

Dean reached for Sam's hand and gave him two painkillers. Sam popped them into his mouth and Dean got him a glass of water to help them go down.

"Thanks, Dean"

"The cut wasn't too big. You'll live" Dean said, avoiding Sam's gaze.

"But next time, don't lie to me" Dean concluded.

Sam nodded and looked down in defeat. Whatever had to be done to restore his brother's trust, he'd do it. Even if that meant allowing his brother to play doctors with him, or whatever. The painkillers finally took their toll on him and he fell into a deep slumber, hoping to feel better in the morning.

Dean watched his brother sleep. Sam had lied to him again. He'd hid an injury from him and that could have gotten them both into trouble. He seriously hoped Sam would be better in the morning so he could kick his ass for being such an idiot.

But the kid didn't look too good so he'd humor Sam for a while. But he wouldn't let the kid know that. Not yet.

TBC

**This was part one! Part two is right there waiting! What did you think of this first chapter? I would love to know, your opinion really counts!**

**Thanks for reading! **


	2. Part 2

_I just want to thank you guys, really! Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites on this story! You are awesome! Here's part two for you !_

**SPN**__

Sam woke up feeling groggy. His limbs felt heavy and most of all, he felt weak. He turned himself on his good side to see that Dean's bed was empty. His brother had probably gone out for breakfast. The thought of food felt interesting at the moment. He blamed his weakness on his lack of food from the previous day.

Getting up proved to be harder than he'd expected. He let out a cry of pain when he switched into a sitting position. He only assumed that it was normal considering his injury. But Dean had stitched the wound so there was nothing for him to worry about. He found the bottle of painkillers on the nightstand and dry-swallowed two of them.

Dean finally made it back to the room with a paper bag and Sam assumed he'd been right about breakfast. His brother indeed took out an order of eggs and bread and handed it over to him.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Dean asked while handing his little brother a fork and a napkin.

Sam shrugged. He remembered telling Dean that he wouldn't hide his injuries anymore but he didn't know how to open up to his brother. It wasn't a dynamic that he was used to.

"Little sore but I'll live" he admitted, not completely covering the truth.

Dean let out a brief smile before eyeing the breakfast on his brother's lap.

"Eat your food. You gotta get your strength back"

Sam nodded and started picking at the eggs.

Dean ate his own breakfast burrito with a lot of appetite. It didn't take long for his tray to be empty. He looked up at Sam who'd only nibbled on a few pieces of toast so far.

"We have to go back to the mall and try to do something about the ghosts" Dean started.

Sam looked up at him. He didn't say it explicitly but Dean could tell Sam wasn't too enthusiastic about the idea. After a while he nodded slowly. Things had to be done and Sam was used to the whole Winchester way of sucking it up in order to get the job done.

His wound would heal anyway. Now that it was stitched, he only had to make sure it didn't get infected.

He had no excuse, really.

Sam managed to finish half of his tray before an uneasy feeling crept up his stomach. He pushed the plate away, saying that he wasn't hungry anymore, which was true.

Dean wasn't too happy but he didn't push it.

They had work to do.

Sam dressed up cautiously as to not pull at his throbbing side. The ache had gone down from the effect of the painkillers but it was still sensitive. He thought about bringing the bottle of pills along with him.

When they got outside, chills racked Sam's body even though he had two shirts and a jacket on. As Dean opened the trunk so that they could dump their duffles, Sam grabbed his old hoodie from the back, putting it under his jacket. Dean noticed but didn't argue.

Sam was such a girl after all, he was probably pulling the thing for comfort.

They both climbed in the front seat of the Impala and Dean shot one last sideways glance at his brother. Sam was already leaning his forehead on the window, eyes staring out without really focusing on anything.

"You sure you're okay?" Dean was finally tempted to ask.

Sam turned his head sluggishly.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well last night" he replied.

Dean studied him for a moment longer.

"If anything was up, you'd tell me, right? I can't deal with the hunt if I have to watch out for you at the same time!" Dean started. There was something in his tone that sounded like trouble.

Sam closed his eyes. He knew that his brother would be mad at him if he trailed behind and it's exactly why he wouldn't tell him how he really felt yet. Dean had more important things to think about and Sam was supposed to be old enough to look out for himself. He'd been nauseous before, he could deal.

"Don't worry, Dean. I can take care of myself" he mumbled.

His big brother rolled his eyes and finally pulled the gear into drive.

They reached the mall that seemed to be as empty as the previous day. Sam could understand why people didn't want to come after what he'd seen the previous day. On top of that, the whole place felt cold. Sam was even happier now to have had the idea of bringing the extra hoodie. He held his arms close to his large frame in order to keep his warmth to himself even through the shivers.

Dean was following next to him. They were heading right for the dining area now that they knew where to find the ghosts. The eldest felt the cold too. They were close.

When they reached the area they were heading for, they found it empty. Sam frowned and looked all around for clues.

"I thought they were supposed to be here" he said through gritted teeth.

"Maybe they knew we were coming" Dean tried.

Sam was still looking all around. Aside from the cold, there were no traces of ghost activity. Dean picked up his EMF meter and turned it on. The signal went crazy. They were right in the energy but still, there were no ghosts in sight. Where were they, then?

"Dean" Sam started when he was interrupted by a sudden change in gravity. Before he could tell what was happening to him, he was flying across the air before falling to a heap on the floor. The wind was knocked out of him from the impact, his side bursting into surges of pain.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, turning to face the ghost that had flung Sam around. He shot a round of rock salt and the ghost disappeared. Dean started to run towards his brother when he too was projected into the air.

He fell back and hit his head on one of the tables.

Sam was still down, panting. Dean wasn't completely knocked out but he saw stars for a few seconds.

A ghost materialized in front of him.

"You don't get to live if we die" the dead girl said.

"Everybody dies someday" he tried, a slight cocky grin forming on his face.

She reached towards him, ready to throw him again.

"Why are you still here, it's not fair!" she shrieked.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe God recognizes my purpose more than he did for you" he joked. "I'm prettier too" he added with a wink.

The ghost clenched his fists and reached for Dean's throat. At that moment, it went up into a million pieces and vanished into thin air. Dean turned his head to see Sam, half-slumped against a chair with his shotgun aimed towards him. He offered his brother a thankful nod.

More ghosts were starting to appear. They were all men and women from different ages. Their complaints melted into one bone-chilling cry.

"Why did we have to go so early?" they cried.

Dean shrugged and looked at Sam for support. Sam seemed to be out of it. He turned back to the ghosts.

"Doesn't God have mercy?" they continued.

Dean shook his head sadly.

"I'm afraid he doesn't care. How could such disasters happen if there were a God" Dean tried.

His own experience had led him to think that God was probably gone. Dead even. Maybe.

"It's not fair" the ghosts cried again.

Dean nodded sadly.

"You're right. But be at peace, there will be more deaths. You're not the only ones. It's not against you personally" Dean assured. Some of the ghosts were already bursting into shards of white light.

"We'll all die. At least you won't get to see famine and death. You've got the chance to go before it gets ugly" Dean continued on a soft tone. More ghosts vanished, moving on to the next world.

"I had a wife and kids" a man ghost cried.

"They won't move on if you don't" Dean admitted. "Don't you think they'd rather know you're at peace instead of stuck here in pain?" he added.

The man bowed his head. A lone tear rolled down his cheek and he slowly started to fade into white.

Seeing that no more ghosts would be attacking him anytime soon, Dean got to his feet and started dragging his feet towards Sam. His brother had watched the whole scene through half closed lids. The kid was clutching his midsection and his face was contorted in pain.

"Sam?" Dean started, his eyes quickly triaging his brother's condition.

Sam could only groan before opening his eyes fully in an ultimate effort.

"Dean" he breathed.

"You okay?" Dean asked, barely masking his concern.

"Think I hit the wrong side when I fell… hope I didn't pop a stitch" Sam admitted.

Dean frowned.

"Mind if I check?"

Sam winced but he turned his wounded side towards his brother. Dean cautiously lifted the layers of clothing. When he finally managed to find the wound, he saw that it was intact.

"The wound is clean, princess" Dean said.

Sam closed his eyes in relief. "Good" he breathed, not paying attention to the comment.

Dean helped him up to his feet and helped drag his gigantic brother back to the car. Sam mostly leaned into his brother, enjoying the proximity. Things had been so tensed between them lately. It felt good to have Dean back.

They settled into the Impala and Sam bit his lip to repress a cry of pain. Even though Dean had assured him that he hadn't opened his side again, it certainly felt like it. Actually his whole side was aching. He figured that's what happened when you were flown around like a rag doll.

"What happened with the ghosts" Sam asked.

Dean looked at him and frowned.

"You were there" he pointed out.

Sam closed his eyes.

"I was focusing on breathing" he murmured.

Dean caught that and he suddenly didn't feel like teasing Sam at the moment.

"They left on their own. It's part of the book of _Revelations_ too. I figured it out with Bobby yesterday when you were dozing off" Dean replied, his tone changing towards the end. There was something like anger in his voice.

Or maybe really really deep down there was a hint of concern…

Sam rolled his eyes and turned towards the window, again finding comfort on the cool glass. His head was pounding now. The contact with the cold glass made him shiver. The change in temperature was too important. He brought a hand to his face only to find it soaked in sweat. He frowned. How could he be sweating when his whole body was racked with chills? Something felt wrong.

He hadn't noticed that they were back at the motel until the car stopped. Sam sluggishly looked up at their motel room. He sighed and started pulling himself out of the car. The movement jagged at his side. Pain erupted in his whole abdomen. He closed his eyes for a brief second, trying to catch his breath.

Dean frowned when he saw the awkward movements Sam was trying to pull in order to free himself from the passenger seat. But it's the way his face cringed in pain and how he leaned on the car for support that led him to stand in front of his brother with a worried look.

"Seriously, Sam" he started. "Do you think I'm stupid? What's up with you?" he asked, eyeing the tall kid up and down.

Sam was breathing quickly.

"It hurts, Dean" he admitted.

"What hurts? Your side?" he asked.

Sam nodded without specifying that the pain had gone from his side to his whole lower abdomen.

"I guess that means painkillers and rest for you. That ghost chick knocked you pretty hard" he said with a slight smirk.

Sam snorted. "Not funny" he mumbled.

Dean helped him inside and that's when he noticed the heat coming from his brother. Sam managed to sit on his bed when it caused another stab of pain. He could hardly contain the grimace. Dean hadn't seen it though. He was fishing for the painkillers. As soon as he got them, Sam dry-swallowed two of them.

Dean pressed his palm against Sam's forehead and felt the heat coming from it.

"Dude, I think you've got a fever" Dean announced.

Sam shrugged.

Dean went to check on Sam's side again but Sam yelped in pain.

Dean opened wide eyes to him.

"I hardly touched you" he called in disbelief.

"Sorry" Sam apologized, rubbing the bridge of his nose at the headache that was beating against his skull.

"I just want to see if your wound is getting infected" Dean explained.

Sam nodded and bit his lip to prevent any further scream of pain. He held his breath while Dean pulled up his shirt. His big brother inspected the wound but it showed no obvious signs of infection. He went to touch it but Sam jerked his hand away.

"Don't touch it" he breathed.

Dean nodded.

"Okay. The wound doesn't seem to be infected but something is up" Dean stated.

Sam closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I just want to sleep" he said. "It'll be better in the morning" he added.

Dean nodded and let Sam undress to the best of his capacity before his little brother snuggled under the blankets and fell asleep almost instantly.

The eldest was puzzled. He wasn't sure if his current relationship with Sam allowed him to get closer to his brother. If Sam said he'd be better in the morning, Dean would let him sleep and hope that Sam would indeed be better in the morning. Either way, his brother wasn't eight anymore and the time where he would've stayed up all night to check on the kid was long gone.

Dean shrugged and undressed himself before getting in his own bed.

SPN

Sam jerked awake. He was drenched in sweat but shaking like a leaf. He shook his head, trying to remember where he was and what happened when the pain came back to him, making it hard to breathe. An uneasy feeling was creeping inside of him and when he figured it out, it was a matter of time before it turned awfully bad.

He jumped out of his bed, immediately regretting it when everything started to spin. He had to hold himself onto the walls and then on the door frame of the bathroom. As soon as his fingers slid from the frame, he collapsed onto his knees. He dragged himself to the toilet just in time when his stomach rebelled and decided to expel its meager contents.

Sam gripped the porcelain tightly making his knuckles turn white. The pain was unbearable at that point and if he weren't throwing up, he'd probably pass out.

SPN

Dean was having a wonderful dream. He was dealing with soft skin and red lips. But the warmth of her arms disappeared and he slowly felt the cold and emptiness of his bed. He didn't want to wake up and held tightly onto his dream but strange sounds were leading him to consciousness. He tried to focus and understand where he was and what was happening. His eyes opened sluggishly. He already missed his dream and cursed at whatever it was that pulled him out of it.

That was until his brain registered where the noise came from. His eyes snapped open and he was fully aware now. He turned to check on his brother only to find the other bed empty. His head shot in the direction of the bathroom from where he could hear his brother's horrible heaving.

"Oh God" he breathed.

He ran to the bathroom only to stare at the reality he feared he would find there. Sam was as pale as the ghosts they'd been hunting. He was clutching at the toilet, his breathing ragged and too damn fast.

"Sam" he said, kneeling down next to his brother. The kid hardly acknowledged him but he did lean into his brother when Dean offered physical support. His big brother rubbed his back while whispering soothing words.

"It's gonna be okay, Sammy" he heard.

He wanted to believe it, really. But his head wanted to split open and his body shook from the cold and exhaustion and his abdomen – oh shit! He was in so much pain! He could hardly breathe.

"Dean" he slurred, his voice rasped. "Don't feel good" he continued.

When he was sure he wouldn't throw up anymore because there was nothing more inside of him to throw out, he slumped into his brother's chest. Dean caught his brother's limp weight.

"What's going on, Sam?" he asked, his voice not even trying to mask his concern.

"Hurts" Sam cried.

Dean's heart squeezed in his chest. Sam didn't usually complain about the pain. His brother had the highest pain threshold he'd ever seen. He had to control his rising panic. At least for his brother, he would.

"Where?"

"Side" Sam breathed out.

Dean frowned. He knew that but was it worse than Sam let on?

He pulled up at the shirt again but this time his blood drained from his face. Sam's skin was covered in dark patches like bruises. Dean shook his head in disbelief and gently placed his fingers on Sam's skin. He flinched when he felt just how cool it was, even though his brother was still sweating.

Sam wanted to push his brother's hand away but he didn't have the strength to move anymore. Dean took this as an opportunity to start feeling Sam's side with his fingers.

"Shit, Sam!" he cursed when he felt how rigid his brother's skin was.

Sam had closed his eyes, unable to keep them open anymore. He was excruciatingly tired. Dean tapped his cheek lightly.

"Open your eyes, Sammy! Please, stay with me" he begged.

Sam's eyes opened to slits.

"'m sorry" he mumbled.

Dean shook his head frantically.

"It's okay, I'll take care of it! Do you think you can get to the Impala?" Dean asked, knowing that his brother needed a hospital and he needed it like _yesterday_!

Sam didn't reply. His eyes were rolling back into his head.

"Hey, come on! Sam, wake up! Don't you dare! SAM!" Dean yelled at his now unconscious brother.

"Damn it!" Dean shouted. Sam's pulse was erratic too. This was so _not good_.

He lifted Sam as carefully as he could and ran back to the room to get his phone. He pulled it open, having no choice but to call for an ambulance. His brother's life depended on it.

SPN

Dean had been pacing the waiting room for hours. The doctors weren't telling him anything and he was scared out of his mind. He'd tried to pull information from the nurses with more aggressive methods but they only threatened to throw him out so he calmed down. They kept saying the doctors were doing everything they could to save his brother.

His brother who was in surgery. When the doctors saw the bruises on his skin, they rushed him to the OR. Dean had then been informed about the hemorrhage but it wasn't something he didn't know. He'd seen the bruises too. He'd seen his brother go into shock. The memories were too fresh in his mind and he shivered every time he closed his eyes and saw images of a pale and limp Sam.

He just needed his brother to be okay.

He needed Sam to come out of this.

Because he needed to patch things up with him.

Tell him how sorry he was for the way he acted and for the way he blamed Sam.

He'd been the one to unlock the first seal after all. Sam might have finished it but he was the one to start it.

He was to blame for the Apocalypse just as much as Sam was.

But then they hadn't known. If only they had.

Things would have been different.

Dean paced the waiting room again. He'd stop counting how many times he'd gone back and forth around the small space he was allowed. Security had threatened to throw him out if he bothered the others too much. Dean was only worried, couldn't they understand that?

Finally, Sam's physician came for him. Dean was up in seconds.

"How is he?"

"The surgery was a success. Sam is in recovery for now but he should be moved to ICU soon. I'm sure he'll recover quickly" the doctor assured.

"What exactly was wrong with him?" Dean asked, not understanding everything that had happened since the night at the bar.

"When your brother was stabbed, the blade perforated his colon. This caused intestinal bacteria to seep out of the wound and into Sam's bloodstream, resulting in an infection that we call peritonitis. In medical jargon, Sam's peritoneum – or his abdominal tissue, the one that his protecting his organs – inflamed, which caused your brother's pain. The infection itself caused Sam's state of shock, including the fever and the vomiting" the medical professional explained.

"But you say he'll recover quickly?" Dean asked again, not convinced about the prognostic after hearing the diagnostic.

"Most likely, yes. We treated him immediately for shock when he came into the ER. Then we surgically resolved the perforation. The only thing left to worry about is the infection but we've started Sam on a penicillin treatment. Sam is young and healthy. He should make a full recovery" the doctor announced in optimism.

Dean smiled weakly and bowed his head slightly.

"Thanks, doc" he said sincerely.

"I was just doing my job" the doctor said.

Dean smiled sadly. "You did more than that actually" he whispered.

The doctor frowned but he didn't push to find what Dean meant by that.

SPN

Sam had finally been moved and Dean was allowed to visit. After waiting for so long, it was like a birthday party for him. He'd wanted to see his brother so badly. Excitation built in his chest as he walked into the hospital room.

Sam's eyes were closed. He wasn't so pale anymore but Dean could tell it had been a close call. The multiple IVs and the oxygen tubing were testimony to that. His brother could have died. He'd been close actually. It was a good thing he'd woken up when he did. What if he hadn't? What if he'd stayed in bed? Would he have found Sam dead on the cold bathroom floor in the morning?

He shivered at the thought. He had woken up. It's the only thing that mattered.

He reached to the side of the bed and pulled a chair closer.

Something made him want to grab Sam's hand but he didn't. He didn't know if he deserved such comfort.

"Dean?" he heard a soft voice ask. He turned wide eyes to his brother's face only to see glassy hazel eyes staring back at him.

"Sammy, you're awake" he stated.

"No shit, Sherlock" his little brother replied with a cheeky grin. It had been so long since he'd seen that smile. He couldn't help but smile too. Too close, yeah. He'd been too close to lose the only thing that really mattered.

"Smartass" Dean teased. Sam smiled and let his eyes droop.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked after a while, enjoying the small comfort he found with his brother being ok.

"Honestly?"

"Yes, man! I want nothing but the truth this time!" Dean replied seriously.

Sam's smile dropped down some. His eyes became serious.

"Like shit. Still hurts like hell…" he admitted, taking quick and shallow breaths.

"Well thank you for telling me. I can get the nurse to give you the good stuff!" Dean started almost enthusiastically but then his tone darkened. "…see, I can help when you actually tell me what's going on" Dean said seriously. Sam bowed his head to that.

"I know… I'm sorry" he apologized.

Dean looked at his brother intensely.

"Yeah, you should be… you could have died, Sam" Dean exclaimed. His tone could have been angry but it wasn't. Sam could only read how scared his brother had been.

"When I said that I couldn't trust you" Dean started. "I was talking about this too. I can't always look out for you and try to guess how you feel because you won't tell me" he continued.

Sam nodded. "I know" he finally said. "All this time I was working with Ruby, I finally took care of myself. I wasn't your kid brother anymore. Maybe I need to grow up" he proposed softly.

It was Dean's turn to nod. "That includes taking care of your injuries. I won't always be there to watch out for you" he replied.

"I will. And someday I'll make it up to you" Sam announced.

Dean frowned now. "Make it up? For what?" he asked.

Sam tugged at his gown now. "For letting you down" he confessed.

Dean was taken aback. He knew Sam was feeling guilty but now Sam thought he owed him? He didn't know what to say. Instead he just nodded. He didn't know if he forgave Sam for what he did. The pain was still too great. He couldn't forget about Ruby, the demon blood and the lies. Not yet.

"Just so you know, it doesn't change how I feel about us" Dean finally said.

Sam looked down in shame.

"For now" Dean added softly. His brother looked up hopefully.

"It's going to take some time, Sam. I can't pretend nothing happened" he explained. Sam nodded, his eyes misty and reflecting his pain.

"I can't blame you" Sam admitted. Dean nodded and rubbed his face with his hand, resting his fingers on his chin. They spent some time in silence.

"Dean" Sam suddenly whispered.

His brother turned to face him, showing him he had his attention now.

Sam blinked sluggishly.

"Thank you" he finally said, his eyes now filled with tears.

Dean frowned. "What for?"

Sam smiled softly. "For not giving up on me despite the shit I put you through" he replied, tears spilling from his eyes. He was exhausted and in pain.

Dean smiled sadly. "That's what family's for, right?" he said softly.

Sam's eyes were drooping now and he focused on trying to take deep breaths. His face turned into one of worry.

"Do you think we'll be family again?" he whispered.

Dean sighed at how easily Sam would turn anything into a chick flick when he was hurt and drugged.

"Someday" he finally replied.

Sam somehow took comfort in that answer and his face softened. His eyes remained closed for longer than before now. He was fighting a rough infection after all. Dean was even surprised he'd managed to stay awake for so long. Damn stubborn little brothers.

"You get some rest, Sammy. I'll be here when you wake up" Dean said.

With that, Sam's breaths deepened and evened out.

_Someday, we'll trust each other and be brothers again. One day at the time. We'll get there, Sammy. I'm glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if anything bad happened. I can't stay mad at you, no matter how hard I try._

_Bitch._

THE END

**That's it folks! Hope you enjoyed this schmoopy ending! I tried to keep it to acceptable levels because of the situation. Dean wouldn't just forgive everything right there but he's on the way. He'll make it there eventually! **

**Don't forget to leave feedback! Please take a little thirty seconds of your life to make a girl happy! :)**

**Thanks a bunch for reading this!**


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